How to Say No
Nah. No Thanks. Not Now.
Want to say “no” in a way that doesn’t put you into a guilt spiral? Here’s how:
When someone asks you to do something, pause and decide if you want to say yes or no. It’s ok not to reply right away while you figure this out.
If the answer is no, and that makes you feel uncomfortable, guilty, and worry that someone won’t like you, that’s ok. It’s normal to feel that way. Try thinking a thought like “I’m going to do what’s best for me this time.” (It gets more comfortable as you practice it, I promise.)
Communicate your no*. It can be helpful to practice saying the words out loud to yourself.
And then move on with your day, knowing that you’ve just kept some white space on your calendar and honored what you actually want to do.
*If your brain wants to say this kind of no: "Well, I can’t because my cousin’s boyfriend’s dog just had a surgery so I’m going to go visit them and it’s like a 30 minute drive, and I’m going on Friday, and last time there was so much traffic on Friday so I have no idea how long it might take me to get there. I’m so sorry I can’t. I feel so bad."
I instead suggest following one of these scripts. Don’t over explain. Do tell the truth, in the shortest and kindest way possible.
No.
Nope.
No thanks.
I’m going to pass on that.
I don’t have the bandwidth for that.
I’m not taking on anything extra right now.
I’m going to decline, but I appreciate you asking.
Thanks for thinking of me, I’m gonna sit this one out.
My life coach said I have to learn to say no, so this is a no.
I’m choosing to keep my schedule light, so I’m going to say no.
I wish I had the capacity, but I’m trying to keep things really simple this week.
Need help wording your no? Send me a message on Instagram or Facebook and I’ll help you out. :)
HOT OFF THE PRESS
“The thing you thought was a discipline problem might have just been a tendency mismatch.”
In The Four Tendencies, Gretchen Rubin lays out a framework allows us to improve our lives just by leaning in to who we are naturally.
She explains that we all respond differently to expectations—outer expectations (like deadlines, doctor’s orders) and inner expectations (like “I should go to bed earlier” or “I want to work out three times a week”).
Some women easily meet both kinds. Some only show up when someone else is watching. Some need a logical reason for everything. And some? The second they feel “forced,” they mentally light the whole thing on fire.
The thing you thought was a discipline problem might have just been a tendency mismatch. And when you understand your tendency, you can finally stop fighting yourself.
Check out episode 226 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod.
“If you’re succeeding on paper but secretly feeling stuck, that quiet frustration will only grow the longer you ignore it.”
My guest this week, Karli Auble, was working as an engineering manager, preparing to start an executive MBA — the logical next step.
Her career coach asked, “Are you excited?”
Karli’s answer?
“Absolutely not.”
But she was doing it anyway. Because that’s the path. That’s what successful people do.
So many women in demanding careers assume burnout is just part of success and life is meant to be hard, but Karli disagrees. She shifted her course of study to positive psychology and now she helps others learn to thrive — instead of just survive.
Listen to episode 227 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod!
WORK WITH ME
1:1 Coaching Spot Open đź“…
Earlier this week, a client and I spent a whole session working on saying “no”. We even wrote the exact text she would send. Guess what? It worked. She said no, she felt great, and now she has the skill to do this again. Do you want this level of support? Set up a free1:1 coaching consultation with me here.