Ask For What You Want.
This week, one of my clients celebrated the fact that she had wins in three categories - one was at work, one was with her husband, and one was with her daughter.
Each of these wins were created with the same basic formula:
get clear on what you want
+ ask for what you want
---------------------------------
= best chance of success
Often as women we instead use this formula instead:
don’t even know what you want
+ don’t ask for anything specific and just hope “they” get it right
---------------------------------
= low chance of getting what you want, with a side of resentment
For example:
WORK
Formula 1: Best chance of success (Get clear on what you want + ask for what you want)
She realized she wanted more flexibility on Fridays
She asked her manager if she could shift her schedule or work from home
Result: She got a more flexible Friday schedule that actually works for her life
Formula 2: Low chance of success + resentment
She feels overwhelmed and wishes Fridays were easier
She doesn’t say anything, assumes her boss should notice
Result: Nothing changes, and she feels frustrated every Friday
HUSBAND / PARTNER
Formula 1: Best chance of success
She realized she wanted help with dinner during the week
She said, “Can you handle dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”
Result: He takes over those nights and her evenings feel lighter
Formula 2: Low chance + resentment
She’s tired of always being the one to figure out dinner
She hints or waits for him to step in without saying anything specific
Result: He doesn’t change anything, and she feels unappreciated
DAUGHTER / KIDS
Formula 1: Best chance of success
She realized she wanted more one-on-one time with her daughter
She said, “Let’s go get coffee together this weekend, just us”
Result: They connect, and she feels more present and close
Formula 2: Low chance + resentment
She misses feeling connected to her daughter
She hopes her daughter will initiate or “want to hang out more”
Result: It doesn’t happen, and she feels hurt or distant
Same life. Same people. Same circumstances. The only thing that changed is that she used Formula 1, and got what she wanted.
HOT OFF THE PRESS
“Everything is always working out for me.”
Here’s the headline about overwhelm: it isn’t coming from your situation. It’s coming from the way you’re thinking about your situation.
Many of us have been taught that negative thinking is realistic, a safer bet, or even more responsible than optimism.
So we stay stuck in loops of stress, overthinking, and mental chaos, believing it’s helping us stay prepared, avoid disappointment, etc.
But in reality? It’s just keeping us overwhelmed. Change one thought—even to something slightly “delusional”—and your brain can calm down enough to actually handle things better.
Give it a try this week!.
Check out episode 242 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod.
“When you're getting dressed, the most important thing is that you feel good about what you're wearing.”
A closet full of clothes, but nothing to wear.
It’s a cliché, but sometimes clichés get to be clichés by being true.
Many women are stuck overthinking every morning because they’ve been told they need more trends, more pieces, and more effort, so getting dressed becomes one more exhausting decision in an already full day.
Instead of reinventing the wheel every morning, my guest today, Lauren Owens, suggests outfit formulas—a way to choose your clothes that makes it easier and more fun to get dressed.
If you’re tired of overthinking your outfits and starting your day stressed, this episode will show you a simpler way to feel confident fast—listen now.
Listen to episode 243 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod!
WORK WITH ME
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Do you struggle with asking for what you want - or even knowing what you want? I can help you with both. Set up a free consultation with me here to see if coaching might be a good fit for you!