Ep #50: Bring the Fun with Susan Hyatt
episode summary
What if I told you that success doesn't have to mean working as hard as possible as often as possible? What if it could be... fun? Susan Hyatt, a best-selling author and master certified life and business coach, is here to tell you it can!
Join Susan and me for an upbeat, inspiring, fun conversation about achieving your goals without succumbing to burnout and overwhelm.
Featured on the Show
Bare by Susan Hyatt
Connect with Susan on Instagram and Facebook
For the full show notes and transcript, head over here.
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CHAPTERS:
1:47 - Have Fun and Make Money
7:57 - Self-Care as a Business Plan
13:04 - Get the Support You Need
listen to the episode:
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Hey, I'm Michelle Gauthier and you're listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. Thanks for joining Overwhelmed Working Woman. Today we have a guest that I am super excited about, Susan Hyatt. I wrote down some notes to introduce her and you cannot do a short intro. I will just tell you a couple of the amazing things about her. She's a master certified life coach. She's a self-made multi-millionaire, not just a one-time millionaire. A best-selling author of the book Bare, which is one of my favorites and something I recommend to my clients all the time. She's a patriarchy smasher, true story, who has helped just thousands of women at this point get more of what they want in their lives. She's been in Oprah Magazine, she's done a TED Talk and now she is here with us today on Overwhelmed Working Woman. Thank you, Susan. Hi!
Susan Hyatt: 0:55
Hi, thank you so much, I'm so excited to be here.
Michelle Gauther: 1:00
Thank you! I wanted to have you on the podcast because I just followed you on social media for I don't know 10 years or something, and I just love what you have to say, you bring the best energy, and because I have previously worked with you - you were my business coach for a while.
Michelle Gauther: 1:17
There are so many things that you taught me - and this has been years ago now - that I still do, so I just wanted to thank you for that. One of the things that you taught me to do that I did not know how to do before was to pitch myself. When I was working with you, I got on a local TV show. I started pitching myself to get on other people's podcasts and, just like you said, eventually it will turn around where people invite me to be on their podcast now. So thank you for giving me that first courage to put myself out there. And then, the other biggest thing that I learned from you was the idea that the more fun I have, the more money I make in business. So I would love for you to just tell us about. I know that's one of your big mottos in life, so I'd love for you to tell us about that.
Susan Hyatt: 2:03
Well, usually when I say that, people can't quite believe it, because it's the opposite of how we're raised. We're raised to, you, know, you only get to play after you get your work done. Dessert after you eat your veggies. And the notion that fun can bring money isn't really part of our cultural narrative. And when I became a life coach in 2007, I was coming out of a real estate career that was really profitable for me and rewarding in a lot of ways, but it wasn't really what I was meant to be doing, and I had just worn myself out.
Susan Hyatt: 2:44
I was quite burned out, and so, when I started this company, I asked myself what would the opposite be, because it was all hard work.
Susan Hyatt: 2:53
I was sleeping with my cell phone, I was always available for clients, not enough time off, and I came up with, what if it was possible to have fun and make money, and so that quickly became the more fun I have, the more money I make, and I claim that as a mantra.
Susan Hyatt: 3:14
I did not really believe it at first. I just have to say that and I set out, though, to try to find evidence that that could be true, and over time, I started following my feel good and creating programs and writing and speaking about topics that mattered to me and making sure that I was having a good time while I was doing it, and I started proving it true. And now, to this day, I mean I, I end things - programs offerings; I will shut down appearances, like we were just talking about, if it starts to not feel as fun anymore, if it starts to feel hustle-y, I will shift gears and find the thing that brings me the most energy to do and that has, over time, really proven to be effective for me as a business owner, which is just amazing because it is completely counterintuitive.
Michelle Gauther: 4:11
And I remember when I was working with you - again, this is years ago - I had my best month ever, and it was the month that I went to France, and went to the World Cup and was gone for like two weeks and I had my best business ever and it was like, how did that even happen? But I just feel like you put that good energy into your job and into your life and somehow it magically comes back. One of the things that is so much fun - I mean, you are just fun embodied, I feel like you're always having fun and always doing cool things. So I'm wondering if you could just give us a little overview of just the places you've gone in the past year where you've done fun coaching things. And then, as a second question how do you keep from being overwhelmed?
Susan Hyatt: 4:57
You're probably referencing what I'm now calling Three Continents and a Pilgrimage, which I think is going to be a new TED Talk. I love to travel, and thank you for that compliment. I just have to say that not everything I do in business would seem like fun, like writing pitches. I love that you're like oh, I learned from you how to pitch myself. I actually was working on a pitch right before we jumped on here, and that might not seem like fun, but you can always bring fun energy to it. You are the fun, you bring the fun.
Susan Hyatt: 5:35
But I love to travel and it is honestly the thing that fills me the most, just about. So one of the things that I do is I offer retreats for women and I pick places that I want to go, that my clients say, hey, if you ever do a retreat in Vietnam, sign me up. And so I combine the accelerated expansion that travel offers, I combine that with coaching. So this in the past year I've gone to Morocco, I've gone to Ireland, I've gone to Spain to walk the Camino and most recently, to Vietnam, and what that offers - I really think a destination can serve also as a master coach. I combine things that I love with coaching that I love and that creates a really fun atmosphere for transformation to happen.
Michelle Gauther: 6:32
That's just so amazing. Because, you know, if someone would have heard that idea, they would have been like, you can't do that. You can't just be taking off all over the world and take women on these trips and help them change their lives wherever you want and you're like, yeah, I can, watch me do it.
Susan Hyatt: 6:49
Well, I will say that I started small. I mean, I started locally, and then domestically in the United States and then once I felt like hey, this is something I really really like to do, I started picking out destinations all over the world. And I'm somebody who had not left the country until my 15-year-old son - at the time, he's 25 now, so this was 10 years ago - talked me into going to Thailand. That was my first trip out of the country and I held a retreat in Thailand and I credit Ryan James Hyatt for that audacity.
Michelle Gauther: 7:33
That is so great! How fun, oh my goodness. So how do you keep yourself - because this whole audience, they're hardworking, motivated women just like you and just like me, but sometimes they're feeling really overwhelmed. So when I hear that you've been to three continents and a pilgrimage in the past year and running this multi-million dollar business and I know from being your client the level of dedication you put into everything that you do - how do you keep from being overwhelmed?
Susan Hyatt: 7:57
That's such a great question and let me tell you something, because I came from burnout, I'm very, very aware of my energy and of my capacity and I'm very devoted to self-care, and I do think of self-care as a business plan. I'm not saying I don't get tired, but what I am saying is I pay very close attention to understanding what my capacity is and I create the conditions for me to thrive. So I know sleep is a real hot button for overwhelmed, overworked moms and women. So I'm pretty devoted to sleep hygiene. I'm very devoted to rituals, so something that I call big yes energy, or the celebration factor, which is practices that keep me in the present moment so that I can access gratitude and so that I can also ritualize celebrating everything, including the morning, the evening.
Susan Hyatt: 8:58
I'm pretty devoted to movement and hydration and eating well. Also, I have great boundaries with myself around business hours. In fact, I have, at the end of the day, I have something I call a desk blessing, where at three, four o'clock in the afternoon, I put my hands on this desk and say, "good job, that has to be enough, we're done". I shut this door and I do not come back. So that is amazing. Oh my goodness, it's a ritual. It's like, hey, there's always more to do, there's always a to do list that's never ending, but for today, this has to be enough.
Michelle Gauther: 9:43
Yeah, that's so wonderful. I feel like when I first created my business, I defaulted into the way that I knew how to work, which was to try to work as much as possible and make it the least fun, make it as hard as possible, right, because I had a belief that I could make money, lots of money, but it had to be hard or it had to be like a beating somehow.
Michelle Gauther: 10:04
So I totally understand that and I think that's something that a lot of people listening probably feel like they don't have a choice, like I have so many things to do all the time. But it's so good to remember you do have a choice. There may be some implications to that choice, like, for example, if you're stopping working when there's more on the to do list, it's not going to get done, but there's always tomorrow. Maybe that thing wasn't meant to be, I think, being able to walk away from it and prioritize whatever you're doing in the evenings.
Susan Hyatt: 10:34
I agree with you and I also think that we as women can buy into, like people, pleasing behaviors and also just this sense of urgency that our world has, and I have gotten better at being like, you know what, I don't have to answer every single person that decided to email me today. Some of them can wait and, honestly, most of them should.
Michelle Gauther: 11:00
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And sometimes our body even tells us it's an emergency, it's an obligation, and we have to be able to check in and say I don't actually have to do this.
Susan Hyatt: 11:11
I don't and I can ask for help. I think that's the other thing that overwhelmed and over- worked women really aren't great at, because we're taught not to do it, but learning how to ask for everything: ask for help, ask for support, ask for a raise, ask for more money, ask for a testimonial. L ike get comfortable asking so that it's not just you doing in isolation.
Michelle Gauther: 11:38
Yes, yes. And do you have regular things that you surround yourself, like I know? You have people who help you in your business. You have people who help in your home, fitness, all that stuff. Will you tell us about some of the support people you have in your life?
Susan Hyatt: 11:52
Yeah, I do and I think when I'm working with stressed out, overworked moms or women, I don't actually have a preference where you start. If you feel more stressed in your home, then you do in your work life, then start at home, because I think, like getting help with your personal systems can give you the energy to do what you need to do business- wise, or it can work in reverse as well. So I don't have a preference. But in my personal home I have an amazing - I mean, listen, I would eat beans before I would not afford the cleaning company that I have, Totally Tidy, that comes to my house every Monday and keeps this house. I have six animals in this house.
Michelle Gauther: 12:38
Oh, my goodness.
Susan Hyatt: 12:41
Three dogs and three cats, and two of those cats are Persians.
Michelle Gauther: 12:44
Okay, so they need to be here regularly.
Susan Hyatt: 12:48
I have a personal chef some of the time. Although, Michelle, you're not even gonna believe it, because I know you know me from way back when in my non-cooking days. I'm now in my chef era.
Michelle Gauther: 13:00
I saw you posted a few things. I was like look at Susan having a domestic moment cooking some stuff here.
Susan Hyatt: 13:07
My friends are like this is gonna last till next Tuesday, but okay, make some scones. Yeah, that's fine, but I do. I do have help with errands, I have help with cooking, I have a personal trainer. These are all things that helped me - I have doggy daycare - that helped me in my personal life and then professionally, I have a full-time executive assistant and several subcontractors that helped me with things like marketing and copywriting and social media, etc. So over time I have built up a big support network. I think, like you, can start with asking for the other people who live under the same roof to do things, so that you're not carrying the part-time job of invisible workload.
Michelle Gauther: 13:58
Yes, I would love for you to talk on that topic for a few minutes. Your fury about it sometimes when you post just makes me so happy. Like I just see that you're just infuriated with the ridiculousness of it. I'm like, yes, exactly.
Susan Hyatt: 14:16
Well, it's just so absurd, when you really stop to think about it, how much we do. That is an invisible part-time job and I'm an empty nester now and that has relaxed a lot of that load, as well as having the help that I mentioned. But you'll notice that a lot of the subcontracted help I have in my home life are things that if I didn't have the money to do that would most likely fall on the woman of the house if she didn't have an equitable partnership. And so I have an amazing husband who - we just celebrated our 30-year vow renewal - and he also says things like, do we have a sink stopper for this sink? What do you mean?
Susan Hyatt: 15:10
You lived in this house how many years? You don't know where it is? Because he's never, hardly ever, washed any dishes. I mean the absolute - so now he'll be holding his cell phone in his hand and say, do you know what the weather is? And I'm like gee, I don't know, that phone in your hand might be able to tell you. Probably tell you. And so he's learning after 30 years of marriage. But I do get infuriated by it because women are so bogged down with that additional workload, absolutely.
Michelle Gauther: 15:42
And it just automatically falls on us. I mean, I'm a single mom and I noticed that the words that I use, even with my kids, who are 16 and 13 and very able and sometimes even willing to help - "could you guys help me out by bringing the groceries in? I'm like, why are you helping me out? We all three live here and we all three eat these groceries. Like I just assume everything is my responsibility and that they're like my assistants and I need them to help me out, and it's like okay, "we're gonna bring in the groceries. Could you please get some of the groceries and bring them in? I can ask them, but I don't have to act like they're doing me a huge favor.
Susan Hyatt: 16:18
That's such a great example that I absolutely remember falling into. You know, like help mom out. The other thing that I've noticed now that my kids are empty nesters is still the emotional, invisible workload. So, the role we assume with managing moods and personalities in the family. And so recently we were all getting together for Thanksgiving in New York where my daughter lives, and she was texting me asking me if I would please inform the men of the family, so her father and her brother, about a certain political topic that she was not going to discuss with them. And I said are you asking me to do the emotional workload for you? Because I don't think so. And she was like, oh, and she goes, okay, I'll text them. Right? But it's like, no, mom's not available for that.
Michelle Gauther: 17:14
Yes, and what a good lesson for her, that somebody won't do that to her now that she realized that she was doing that to you, probably without meaning too. Yes, oh my gosh. Well, I feel like I could talk to you for hours, but I don't want to let this interview end without talking about Bare, because that's another one of my favorite things that you've taught me. So will you tell them a little bit about your book and just your whole outlook on women and their bodies and diet culture - your favorite, diet culture. That's almost, I feel, as much passion about that as the invisible workload from you.
Susan Hyatt: 17:48
I tell you what, and I am on fire today about also the the ageist stuff, now that I turn 50.
Susan Hyatt: 17:57
But so Bare, for all of your listeners, is a book about loving the skin that you're in, and it's a seven step process that I developed over many, many years of working with thousands of women, of how to really bring a woman home to herself, to love her body, and to stop dieting. And one of the things that I love to ask audiences to consider is how much time they spend worried counting, measuring the calories, and the food that they consume so that they can take up less space. And it's, you know, whatever. It is now a hundred billion dollar industry designed to convince us that we would be better if we took up less space.
Susan Hyatt: 18:46
And so the average age that a girl starts dieting is eight years old, and the domino effect of the loss of confidence ends up with more women dying in poverty than ever before. So you have girls who start dieting at eight. By the time they're 13, they have 30% less confidence than their male counterparts. That results in girls and women not learning how to advocate for themselves, not going for the jobs they want, not asking for raises, earning less money because there's already a wage gap. So think about it.
Susan Hyatt: 19:24
If you're over concerned, if you're using all your capacity for thigh gap, you're not worried about the wage gap and you're suffering from the confidence gap. I'm not even gonna get into the orgasm gap. And then, because you've earned less money over your years and you didn't learn about investing which is something else I'm big into, real estate investing, and you suffer during divorce, as something that you have experience with. If you're not conscious to all of these gaps, then what happens is you have less money in retirement and you are much more likely to run out of money in your older age. And so I am out to reach girls before they start dieting, through a program I have called BOLD, which I'm actually working with my adult daughter now, who's a grant writer, to get grants, to get it into schools to educate women about what diet culture is doing to them and robbing them of their energy and capacity they could be using to embrace their power and do amazing things in the world and really smash diet culture.
Michelle Gauther: 20:34
I love that. Excellent summary. Oh my goodness, so powerful, so much all wrapped into that. I had a client tell me recently that if she wasn't thinking about her weight - like the way she said it is, "if I was skinny, I have no idea what I would think about, like to indicate. That's just constantly playing in her head and it's like what a shame, a waste of your brain, you know, to do that, and the thing I love about your book, too, is that the approach is all about bringing pleasure and loving things and experiences into your life.
Michelle Gauther: 21:16
Like the thing that I took from that book that I do all the time, like 100% of the time is being really intentional about meals. So you will never, ever find me standing at my kitchen counter eating out of a leftover, like something cold leftover. I always heat it up, put it on a nice plate. Sometimes I'll use a placemat. I get myself a glass of ice water. I sit somewhere besides my office, like I make the meal, so that I'm actually paying attention to what I'm eating and, you know, enjoying what I'm eating. So that was something I took from the book that I have just kept and it's such a solid habit Now it's just, I'm just blind to it, like I just do it without even thinking about it.
Susan Hyatt: 21:57
Oh, that makes me so happy. Yeah, I definitely, I think the Bare process is very much about adding amazing things to your life, instead of diet culture being about subtraction and deprivation.
Michelle Gauther: 22:12
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. Is there anything else that you want to tell us about, anything that you're working on, where people can find you,
Susan Hyatt: 22:25
Sure, I think the latest thing I'm proud of is a community I have called Big Yes Energy, and we talk about all the things we've talked about here today. There's also a great podcast I have called You've Got Nerve, which you should come on, Michelle., t's all about listen to the episode about how not to get jet lagged.
Susan Hyatt: 22:47
That is one of my most popular episodes.
Michelle Gauther: 22:50
That is a really good one if you're going on a trip and you want to know how not to get jet lagged, listen to that episode, that was really good.
Susan Hyatt: 22:58
Let me tell you how. Three ontinents n a pilgrimage. Do you know? I did not have jet lag coming home from Vietnam, oh my god. And it rea that stuff really works. So you've got nerve is a great podcast about women getting up the nerve to make changes in their lives and do amazing things. And if you want to have fun on social media, I'm at Susan Hyatt on Instagram and Facebook, and I have lots of fun Sometimes rants, but a lot of times comedic reels that'll make you laugh.
Michelle Gauther: 23:28
Yes, but your rants make me laugh too, because you're so right like, you're so spot-on, and I love when somebody tries to like talk smack to you or say something about your body or whatever, you just give them the smackdown. It's so great.
Susan Hyatt: 23:44
Well, the latest insult. So I did a rant. For those of you who are Swifties, I did a rant about people being upset about Taylor Swift, just in general, and the men that have come out and do you know their favorite insult, because they love to go for you. When they can't come for your intellect, they go for your looks, and so the biggest insult I get lately, since I turned 50, is, you're so old, and I'm like, oh my god, are you 12 and living in a basement?
Michelle Gauther: 24:12
That's what you got, oh my gosh.
Susan Hyatt: 24:15
I'm just like yeah, okay, try harder, because I raise Ryan Hyatt. All right, Is that all you got? Yeah, exactly.
Michelle Gauther: 24:25
I just love it. Anyone could try to go up against you and you'd give them the smackdown. I love it. Yes, you are very fun to follow on social media, for sure. Well, I just want to personally thank you. There are so many things. There are many things on this list that I made for myself about the impact that you've had on my coaching career and my life, not all of them that I got to, so thank you so much. I really really appreciate what you're putting out in the world and just the impact that it's had on me as a person and a business owner. So thank you, thank you.
Susan Hyatt: 24:54
Michelle, you are a delight.
Michelle Gauther: 25:01
Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier. com. See you next week.
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