Ep #52: Using New Tools to Build a New Life with Julia Pancoast
episode summary
Happy 1st birthday to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast! We're celebrating all month long, with great episodes and fun giveaways.
This week's episode is an interview with a 2-time client of mine, Julia Pancoast, who learned some new tools from coaching that helped her build a new life for herself and her family. You'll hear why she decided to quit her job (and how she doubled her old salary in her new business!) by putting her family first, being diligent with her morning routine, and using an evidence journal.
And we've got an awesome t-shirt giveaway - just write us a review and then fill out this form to let us know you did it, and you'll be entered to win an exclusive Overwhelmed Working Woman t-shirt!
Featured on the Show
Connect with Julia on Instagram
T-Shirt Giveaway
For the full show notes and transcript, head over here.
If you are sick and tired of feeling overwhelmed, I can help. I coach clients on 1 on 1 to create a more calm, relaxing, intentional life. The first step is to set up a complimentary discovery session right here.
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CHAPTERS:
6:13 - Breaking Point
14:14 - Choose a New Thought
16:19 - The Morning Routine
17:46 - The Evidence Journal
21:26 - Putting Family First
listen to the episode:
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Michelle Gauthier: 0:00
Today you'll hear how my client, Julia, quit her stable job as a city planner and created a six-figure business within just four months without mom guilt. Hey, I'm Michelle Gauthier and you're listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman Podcast. Hello friends, thanks for joining. Today you are going to hear Julia's three biggest takeaways that she got from her coaching and how she applied those to make more money than she ever made, while also enjoying quality time with her kids and her family. You'll hear why she decided to quit her job and what pushed her to actually do it, and then how she made more money by putting her family first, being diligent with her morning routine, which is such an important part of our mindset, and using something called an evidence journal. Also, this episode is being released on April 1st, which means that Overwhelmed Working Woman is one year old. She's no longer a baby.
Michelle Gauthier: 1:04
We are going to be doing fun things all month long to celebrate, and this week we have a fun giveaway, which is Overwhelmed Working Woman swag. We have the cutest t-shirts that say Overwhelmed Working Woman. I've been wearing mine around town and have gotten lots of knowing smiles from other Overwhelmed Working Women. They aren't like the itchy, yucky giveaway t-shirts that you get sometimes. These are women's fit. They're soft, they're adorable. This is a t-shirt that you would actually want, so to get one, all you have to do is write an honest review of the show on Apple or Spotify and tell me that you did it. There's a link in the show notes where you can get all the details about where and how to write a review and then give us your info so that we can send you the t-shirt. You can start sporting your Overwhelmed Working Woman t-shirt on casual Friday or at school pickup or whenever you want to wear it. Also, if you've already done a review for the show - because for Apple and Spotify you can only do one - so if you've already done a review for the show, even if you did it, like six months ago, still fill out the form and tell us that you did it so that you can be in the drawing for the t-shirts.
Michelle Gauthier: 2:13
Okay, now let's get on to our chat with Julia. You're going to love her story. Today I have an interview guest who I'm excited to introduce you to. This is Julia Pancoast, and she was my former client, twice actually. Once for one big change and then once to keep going on to another change. So I'm going to ask her lots of questions about that. She started off, when I first met her, she was a city planner/ urban designer, and then she moved into owning her own business in real estate. She's done everything from helping to procure and sell business properties to owning her own buildings with apartments that she manages. So she's sort of a real estate investment jack of all trades. So thanks, Julia, for being on with us.
Julia Pancoast: 3:03
Thank you, that was a nice introduction. I don't always feel like a jack-of-all-trades, but I try to be.
Michelle Gauthier: 3:10
You are, you are. The other thing I forgot to say is that you're a mom of two boys, two little-ish boys. How old are they now?
Julia Pancoast: 3:17
Yeah, they're now three and four and a half.
Michelle Gauthier: 3:20
So close together! Yes, so when we started working together, it was more like they're like babies. Yeah, exactly, two babies essentially.
Julia Pancoast: 3:29
Yeah, two under two, I think at the time.
Michelle Gauthier: 3:31
Yeah, oh, my goodness. So two under two, with a full-time job at that time where you were working lots of hours and you and your husband had a balancing act that you did because he did work on Saturdays and didn't work some of the days during the week. Right, you guys kind of tried to figure that out. But what made you consider getting a coach in the first place?
Julia Pancoast: 3:54
Well, I would say that when I still had my previous job, but I was starting to take in all this information from all kinds of sources. So a lot of it was real estate podcasts and books and all the things that real estate people are exposed to. A nd with that is mindset work, I don't know, it's just kind of interesting that the real estate investing industry or path has a lot intertwined with mindset work, and so I was getting exposed to what mindset work is, because I didn't even really know what it was. And then through that I got introduced to the concept of coaches and that people utilize coaching to kind of help build their businesses, help improve their lives.
Julia Pancoast: 4:41
And I think I had heard that some of the girls in this investing - all- women investing group that I religiously attend every month because that's my favorite, it's called InvestHer and there's a St. Louis group that meets but it's like a national platform and anyways, in that group I think some of the ladies had worked with you in the past and I had just put a message out because I was still at my old job and I was like hey, I know some of you have mentioned working with coaches. Who have you worked with? And they put your name out there and spoke very highly of you. So I reached out and when we had our discovery call, our first call, I was still at my old job and a lot changed between our first call and then starting to work together.
Michelle Gauthier: 5:28
Yes, because you were right on the verge. You wanted to quit and you weren't sure if you should do it. I remember talking to you. It was like winter and you were in your minivan and we were talking on your first consultation.
Julia Pancoast: 5:38
I remember feeling like, so gray, like the color of, like my side of the video looked so dreary. It was very reflective of the situation.
Michelle Gauthier: 5:54
Right, right, it was a metaphor, yes, yes. So at that point you knew that you wanted to start doing real estate investment. Of course, like everyone who starts their own business, you were a little nervous about doing it, because it's hard to think like, what will I do without the salary that I have? Will I make this much? And then add on top of that, hiring a coach? So how did you feel about the investment part of it, investing in a coach?
Julia Pancoast: 6:13
Well, I personally felt like I was at a spot where I was so just emotionally broken. I just was so over my circumstances of you know, whatever I was living in, with being overworked at my job, and like never - I was barely seeing my kids and they were tiny babies at the time and it was just like I was at a breaking point emotionally and so I just felt like there wasn't another option. Honestly, and I remember talking to you about like do you have any tips on how to discuss this with your husband, because my husband, he wasn't listening to the same podcast or reading the same books and stuff as me because he doesn't do real estate investing and so, anyways, we just have been exposed to different things, and I just was like he's not going to have any clue what this is. Yeah, so I asked you for advice on that, and so I kind of like it was funny because I was trying to explain it to him one night.
Julia Pancoast: 7:12
I still remember this night vividly the kids had gotten put to bed and it was like we were just in the living room by ourselves and our Christmas tree was up. So I remember it was like dark with like just our little Christmas tree behind me and I was trying to explain it to him and he kind of was like pushing back a little bit, like he was just like, but why do you need that, and why do you need that? And I just broke down in like tears and I was like I have to change, something has to give, like I just and I didn't know exactly how to do it, or maybe I didn't have the courage to think I could do it without support, I don't know, but I just felt like it was kind of like this is the only option.
Michelle Gauthier: 7:47
Yeah, yes, well, good, and I think even being able to think that, you had to believe in yourself enough, like if I get the right guidance to get me through this, I know I can succeed at it. And you were right. You were so right because you have been so successful. So what was the tipping point at your old job? Maybe it was something with the job or just how your life felt, where you were like I'm not doing this anymore. I'm going to start my own business and hire a coach and get busy in this new life I'm creating.
Julia Pancoast: 8:15
Yeah, so I probably spent a whole year before I left my job kind of arming myself. And let's context this with this was COVID times, where we were all stuck in our houses. I was remote working for like 18 months. I was at home, I was pregnant, so I had a lot of in my house time and I, again, I've had this itch of real estate literally since I can remember as a five-year-old. Other kids were watching cartoons on Saturday mornings and I was watching This Old House, this guy who would rehab old houses on one of the free channels - PBS.
Michelle Gauthier: 8:55
Yeah, I know it.
Julia Pancoast: 8:57
Yes, and it was so funny. I remember I was a small child just laying in my mom's bed on Saturday mornings watching that show and my siblings were in the other room watching cartoons. So I was unique, but anyway. So for a year when I was pregnant and I still had a baby at home because they're so close in age and I was really in this mode of like I've got to figure this out. I know I can figure it out somehow. So I started educating myself and preparing for what,
Julia Pancoast: 9:27
Maybe I didn't know I was going to leave my job. I really didn't because I thought like, oh, I can start doing it with my income, because it's like when you have a W-2 job, it can make the financing of deals a little easier. So at first I was going the route of I'm going to do both at the same time, and then I would say the trigger thing was going back to the office. So at that point then I had two babies at home and we went back in the summer of 2021 or late summer, I think, like August we went back to the office and we were expected to be at the office when we had been 100% remote for 18 months, and so it was just such a stark change. I was really unhappy being away from my kids because I had been with them for so long as little babies and I had remembered that when my first son was born and I was working full time, it wasn't COVID. I was so unhappy. I just was literally calculating in my head sometimes how many hours I got to see my child in a day and how many hours they were with a nanny or someone else in the day, and it really made me feel so bad. And so, anyways, there was always this expectation to be in the office, and then also we'd have these evening meetings and anyways, it was just starting to be like, oh my God, I just don't want to do this anymore.
Julia Pancoast: 10:52
And then the thing that really just triggered me that I have to quit, it was probably the week it happened. So my younger son had - it's actually really common - febrile seizures, and the first time it happened was when I was still working from home and I was there with him. And then, when the second time happened a few months later, I was at work and my husband calls me freaking out that he's having a seizure and I just felt so helpless and at my job, I was the only person there and I was holding down the fort on this project, so I felt like I couldn't leave for something so dramatic. So it was like, I don't know.
Julia Pancoast: 11:31
It just struck a chord with me where I was like I don't want to be in a position where I feel like I can't just be there for my family when I need to be there, and that had been like a tune of that job for a long time. But I was just such - I mean, I'm such a gotta get the project done, no matter what, like a deadline- driven person, and I've always been in a deadline- driven industry. And that was just before kids. It was just, that's how I am, that's how I work, I'm a workhorse. And then after kids, it was like okay, but I can't do this like this anymore. It was funny because even before kids it was like a red flag that I just suppressed and didn't do anything about because I'm like whatever, I like to work, or maybe I don't like to work, but I feel I have to work. But it was right
Julia Pancoast: 12:17
after I got married, I just was super overwhelmed with projects. And it was right after we got married, our first Christmas where we had our big family gathering and everyone was asking my husband like, oh, how's married life? And all he would say is she works a lot. And that was his answer, and I still remember that because it made me be like well, what do you mean? Yes, I work a lot.
Julia Pancoast: 12:45
Is that what you're supposed to do? I have to get the projects done. I don't know what to tell you. But I never set any boundaries with work. It was like, I would pull all-nighters to get a project done, whatever it took. Not until you have kids, where you literally have another life to think of besides your own, you can treat yourself so badly sometimes, but when you have someone else to care about, it's like the whole world perspective changes and you're like okay, actually I can't. And I was still doing it, though, where I would get the kids to bed and still work all night on a project, and it was just draining.
Michelle Gauthier: 13:24
Yeah, you can only do that for so long in my experience and opinion. I also think I didn't know that there was a different option. I just thought, well, I've always worked really hard and worked as late as necessary, and so I didn't know that there was an option to create any different kind of life. So it's like you're doing the best that you can do with the information that you have at the time. Okay, so you have this sort of breaking point. Then you decide you're going to quit your job. So when we first started our sessions and we worked together for six months at that time and then six months again later on. So we worked together at six months. So when we first started working together, if you remember back this far because that's been a while do you remember if you started feeling better immediately or if it took a while, or do you have a recollection of that?
Julia Pancoast: 14:14
First was me kind of like just explaining a lot of situations. And then it was like I think the second meeting where we did that exercise, where you helped me, like choose another thought and like I would say it out loud and then you'd ask me how it made me feel. And I still remember I don't remember exactly what the phrase was that I said out loud, but I remember like that instant feeling of like this, like flutter in my chest. Yeah yeah, that was like the opposite of what I was telling myself, but what I needed to hear. Switching that thought could instantly give you a feeling in your body, and so that was really powerful. And then it kind of got me hooked on all the work we wound up doing the rest of the time.
Michelle Gauthier: 15:19
Yes, all the mindset things, yeah, and I don't remember what that was either, but it could have been something like I'm afraid I'm not going to be successful with having my own business, and maybe we changed it to, It's possible; I have a track record of success in working, or something else. We just come up with another thought, which is something we do often in coaching, and that other thought has to feel true. It can't just be like a sunshine and rainbows type thought, but it's amazing when you shift into that butterflies possibility feeling, what you can do.
Michelle Gauthier: 15:51
When you're from the place of anxiety and worry about I don't know if I'm going to be successful, you might sit down at your desk with your shiny new laptop and just be paralyzed versus okay, what do I want to do? I need to call these people or meet with this person or whatever. It just helps you clear up your mind. That is great. And then I feel like you did a great job of really doing meditation. I'm just thinking of some of the other tools that you picked up on. You would do meditation. You did, or maybe still do, a morning routine.
Julia Pancoast: 16:23
So when I started working with you, I came in with these thoughts that we worked on which was like I'm bad at routines, I am not a book reader, and then that was things that we worked on changing. So I didn't necessarily believe the thought that I love routines or I'm great at a morning routine. So I think the thought we came up with that was like a cheat, like felt true enough, was like I'm learning to love morning routines or something like that, like I'm learning to love it or I'm learning to be great at it or something, and like that was true enough in my mind, that like I am learning to try to be like that, but at that time I was doing like a very dedicated, pretty lengthy morning routine process and it was very powerful.
Julia Pancoast: 17:12
I've pared it back quite a bit just because how early my kids wake up - it's interesting; they're still early risers.
Michelle Gauthier: 17:22
Yes, and you can do a quick morning routine too. When I first started my business and I was going through a divorce and I had so many things that my mind really needed a lot of management, I would do like a full hour in the mornings and now that I've done lots of work and whatever I can do like a 10 minute and it gets my mindset in the right direction. So I think if you can do a short one, great, do a short one.
Julia Pancoast: 17:46
The evidence journaling was really helpful in building my thought of believing myself, because when you don't follow through with what you're wanting to do like, say, I want to wake up and do a meditation and then the more times you don't do it, you start to lose belief in yourself, that you're going to do what you say. And that can be a challenge that I have struggled with, you know, in the past, and so what we worked on was like building that evidence journal of like think of anything you do that's a routine in a day, however basic it was. And I remember thinking like, well, I don't even know, because I don't do routine stuff. And then I started writing and it was like, well, I do brush my teeth every day, like the smallest thing that you could just build up your mind to be like, yeah, I do routines. Like what do you mean? Like I drink coffee in the morning.
Michelle Gauthier: 18:35
Yes, and you had a lot of routines for your boys, like to put them to bed. You had, oh yeah, you were like very strict on those, yeah, yeah, exactly. So basically your brain was offering you a thought that wasn't true. And then you created the thought that was true, which is I'm learning to love routines. And then you kept this evidence journal, which is another tool we use in coaching, and just write all that down like, oh, actually I am very good at routines, and that's a great point about routines, too is because once you have them, they almost go unnoticed, it's just on autopilot, so you weren't giving yourself credit for it.
Julia Pancoast: 19:17
So how soon did you start seeing success in your new business when you started doing real estate investing? Because when I left my job I was so like I had all these thoughts that you know, like it would be a win in my mind if I could at least make what I made at my old job. And then in my literally, I think, my like first few months, I like out-earned my old job like that fast and I wound up making like I would have never thought I would have made that, but I, for my first time ever, I made six figures. Because we were joking, remember, I was like I was a five-figure earner and no one uses that term, but it was funny.
Michelle Gauthier: 19:58
And you became a six-figure earner within just a couple months.
Julia Pancoast: 20:01
I passed the threshold. That was big for me because that was the thing that I wanted to be able to provide for my family. So when I was able to surpass my previous income so quickly and then it gave me this jolt of this is where I can definitely make money and be successful and I'm good at what I'm doing, and it just was a lot of things resonating with me to reinforce my decision that I made the right decision and that I was in the right place.
Michelle Gauthier: 20:36
Yes, and you were always great at applying the tools. Even when you were doing your new business, where you were doing well and making money, you had very specific processes that you followed. We worked on those, you made so many calls, you did so many things, and so it really ended up being a very um I would say routine driven life that you created for yourself as far as the hours you worked and the things that you did when you were working. So I think for anybody out there who feels like, oh, I would love to do something else, but I can't imagine that I could ever make money doing that, Julia is a great example, because it's not like you had a job where you were making nothing or didn't have a lot of responsibility. You were making good money, but you just made better money and then tell us some of the other differences. So you're making more money. And then what did the rest of your life look like?
Julia Pancoast: 21:26
My schedule. So I was working for someone else, but I had extreme flexibility. I basically could make my own schedule and in the beginning my older son was new in preschool at the time and so I only had him going half days and I worked pretty close to my house and his school was right across from our house, so I would spend the morning - I had a generous amount of time in the morning with my kids, especially compared to what it was before, where sometimes I was leaving before they woke up. I was getting three hours in the morning with them where I'm just hanging out with them and getting them breakfast and getting them off to school, and then I would go to work for a few hours and I would leave to go pick up my son from preschool. Because that was important to me at the time was that I don't know, it was just like he was new in school and I wanted to be there each day to get him and see how his day was. Every once in a while I would stay and just eat lunch with them and then go back to work sometimes and it was nice and then I'd go back to work for the day and then I would usually be home by four o'clock or so. I didn't usually, rarely, work till five o'clock and it was nice because I used to, at my previous job, I would be stuck in the rush hour traffic because I wasn't supposed to leave till 5.30. And then I was stuck in rush hour traffic. I wouldn't get home till after six and my kids go to bed at like seven, so I would get - like they would already have been fed, sometimes they were already bathed. I wasn't around for any of that and then I'd have 30 minutes with them and then I was like I didn't even get to see them. And so I was like I chose that I was going to leave around four o'clock every day and that I was going to get home before my husband was making dinner, because he's a saint and he makes dinner for me and our family, and so it was just something I chose. So I adjusted my schedule. I made more money. I worked less because I adjusted my schedule intentionally and I also would just. At the time time I had a work phone that was just a whole separate phone, so it was really easy to separate work from personal. So I would like put my work phone away once I got home and I would really not check it for the most part once I was home for the evening. And when I did that, I remember just like feeling so present with my kids that it was like, okay, I'm here and the more I could separate that this is work time, this is family time. It just made me feel so much better. And then, yeah, well, you had touched on earlier, the Saturdays.
Julia Pancoast: 24:20
So I struggled sometimes with Saturdays because I was parent on duty by myself and it was a little overwhelming sometimes. But I remember one of the really important things we went over one time or sometimes was sometimes I'm causing my own suffering because I'm expecting something that's not going to happen. I'm expecting that my kids aren't going to touch me all day long and then I'm going to be, but that's just going to happen. Like I'm expecting that my kids aren't going to touch me all day long and then I'm going to be, you know, but that's just not reality. Like they're going to touch me, they're going to. Like the more I just think, like I'm annoyed. Yes, exactly. And so that was really powerful too, cause it was, like, you know, treat Saturdays like cause.
Julia Pancoast: 25:00
The thing that would trigger me to get frustrated was when my mind was trying to focus on something else and my kids were pulling my mind back to them, like we need this, we need that, and some of it was, you know, use of my phone, like because maybe they were occupied for a second. So I would try to, like, you know, do something for myself on my phone, like look on Instagram or something you know pointless. But I was trying to escape for a second, like have a minute of me time, and it was just not realistic because they were so small. They needed me quite often and like, the more I just like, the more I could just stay in, like this is my job for the day. My job is to be you know day, my job is to be parenting them and just be there in it.
Julia Pancoast: 25:50
And sometimes the most calm I could be was just for some reason, there's this one corner in my kitchen that the kids seem to barely notice. I'm there, but I can see them from all angles of the house. So if I just lean against this corner by my sink of my kitchen, and whether I'm facing away or facing out, they just seem to not notice me, and it's like when they don't see you. All that like right, like if they see you, they need something, I feel like. So it was funny.
Julia Pancoast: 26:16
We had the one week where you're like, try this out and then tell me how it goes next time we meet. And it was like just me boringly standing in the corner, not on my phone, just there with myself and my thoughts and my whatever. And it was so peaceful because I wasn't getting angry with them, because they weren't distracting me from whatever I was trying to do. I'm not trying to load the dishwasher and getting annoyed that they're coming over and moving everything and touching stuff. And so it was like my job is to be their mom and whatever they need that day. It's not to try to do all the housework while I'm trying, because that can get frustrating and that was just something so easy. It was like I'm creating my own suffering by having all these expectations of what I need to get done on a Saturday to feel like I did something for the house.
Michelle Gauthier: 27:08
Yes, yes, exactly. And it's so easy because we automatically get those expectations. So it's so easy to create your own suffering. And once you figure out the key of just lowering your expectations and just standing still in the corner without looking at your phone and you can actually feel a moment's peace and even kind of enjoy what you're doing. It makes such a big difference. And I think that skill is so transferable too, because then when you go to work and you're doing your work hours, you can say my only job to do right now is to work. I'm going to call these people, but unless your son's having a febrile seizure and you need to run home, you can just run home. That doesn't become an emergency that you can't address anymore.
Julia Pancoast: 27:46
Yes, yeah, choosing what's most important in this moment and what am I choosing to focus on?
Michelle Gauthier: 27:52
Yeah, yes, exactly. So after we completed that six months, you went on and were very successful in your business that you had, and then we started working together again. So when you think about that, this happens a lot where I will work with clients and then they'll come back later because they've grown a certain amount in their business and then they want to go to the next level or there's something in their personal life that they want to take to the next level. So what was your why for coming back for more coaching?
Julia Pancoast: 28:21
Honestly, I can't exactly remember what the triggering things were at the time, but I just remember there was new things coming at me that were just different.
Julia Pancoast: 28:34
I know one thing was I had colleagues I was working with at the time and then some of them had moved on to other jobs. One of them had a baby. And I was kind of in this new environment where I was like kind of by myself, because I worked in my own office by myself. And I had people I could like go upstairs, there was other people doing kind of a different job but similar, if I wanted to like socialize for a minute, or I could call like the people I was working for if I had questions, but we weren't in the same environment. So one thing was just like well, the expectation to want to level up maybe my income, to be like okay, I did this last year, I had great success. I want to make sure I can do it again and that that wasn't like a fluke, believing that it can happen again.
Michelle Gauthier: 29:19
Yes, because that's what our brain will offer, like oh, that was lucky, I have no idea how that happened.
Julia Pancoast: 29:30
Yeah, and then when I make you write down all the reasons why it wasn't a fluke in your evidence journal, yeah, so one thing was like okay, I had a great year last year, I want to make sure I have another great year. Some things are a little different, like and I don't remember if we were working together at the time when I got my building. I think we were like, when I got it under contract, yeah, you wanted to have your own building. I know, year two in real estate, since year one was like you know, I could have never dreamed that I would over double my income in such a short time. And then being like, okay, I got to like can I do this again? Can I actually get these results again? So that I think that was probably the trigger that I was like I need you back, Michelle.
Michelle Gauthier: 30:28
And then I think the great part about coaching the second time is you don't have to learn all the concepts, right? So we'll just say what thought are you having about that? What new thought could you pick? Where are you creating your own suffering with expectations? So we just apply all the same tools and then you can get results very quickly instead of having to learn all of them in the first place.
Julia Pancoast: 30:45
Which I think it was funny, that that was kind of what brought me back to you, but I do remember that our second time of coaching, I feel like most of the time we spent dealing with my thoughts around being a good mom, which is funny, but it makes sense because my kids were growing up, I was having to learn to parent differently. I was parenting toddlers instead of babies, and toddlers can drive you up a wall, and so it's funny because with both times going into coaching, I had certain things on my mind that we would talk about, but then we would get into other topics that I didn't even realize were causing me mental blocks, that we would eventually get to the root and it was like oh yeah, I have a money scarcity mindset issue, I have relationship issues because I put too many expectations on some of my closest family members that are just never going to happen, and those things like that that I didn't even realize were challenges. But they eventually come up, no matter what you go in talking about. It's so funny because you can eventually get to the root of whatever it is. If it's, am I enough, or am I a good mom, or am I doing enough for my kids to make sure they become good people, whatever it is, and it just transcends across other areas of your life and so sometimes you don't even know what that thought is until you start I think you had called it your bully brain you start just getting quiet and paying attention, like when you're starting to hear this like chatter in your mind.
Julia Pancoast: 32:28
And I don't remember exactly what, but the time you had me do that exercise, I remember it was like early one morning I was about to go like do my meditation and I I was like just getting a drink of water or something and I remember some thought coming through that was like literally, like it was like on repeat and it was some kind of bad, mean thing and I just wrote it down. I wrote like you were like just have a little journal and write like these are the thoughts that my bully brain is saying, and then I would just take note. Whenever I heard it, then I would just write it down. And it's funny because if I wasn't in the practice of you telling me to be conscious of listening for that, you don't even pay attention to half these mean things that your brain's thrown out at you. You should have done that different or even recounting.
Julia Pancoast: 33:15
Sometimes I get this and I don't know if it's called social anxiety or not, because I don't always understand exactly if that's what it is. But if I go out to a meetup and then I talk to a bunch of people, I'll come back and my mind will start going like you were talking too much, you didn't even let them talk enough, or just start saying mean things about that. And then you start to think that about yourself, like oh, am I annoying, or whatever it is, and you just realize you don't know what people are thinking of you, because that's what you taught me was like you have no idea what people are thinking of you.
Julia Pancoast: 33:50
They might think that was the best conversation they ever had, or they would think, yeah, I don't want to talk to her again, but you'll never know, and so it's not useful for me to keep hearing that thought and letting it be there. So the more I can just be like, yeah, hearing that thought and letting it be there, so the more I can just be like, yeah, this is me, and if you want to talk to me,
Michelle Gauthier: 34:09
Yes, exactly. And then notice when your brain offers you those bully thoughts, because they're there either way and you can react to them either way. But if you can pull them into your consciousness, I mean, sometimes I can even laugh at my own like, oh geez, that was a doozy. I'm not going to even give that one any time. But yeah, it is funny. And the skill of learning to see your own thoughts and not believe all of your own thoughts is really life-changing, as simple as it sounds.
Julia Pancoast: 34:41
And that you don't have to grab onto a thought, as simple as it sounds. And that you don't have to grab onto a thought, like, if it's a thought that's not useful to you like me thinking that I'm not a good mom, or something I was like why would I want to ever latch onto that thought? Yeah, you know. And so to just like separate yourself from your thoughts and say like no, I'm going to choose a thought that's positive for me.
Michelle Gauthier: 35:03
Yeah, exactly, and once you have the ability, like say, for example, to believe that you're a good mom and that you're doing the best you can, it affects every area of your life, because then, when you're at work, you're just working, you're not feeling guilty or thinking I'm not doing enough or whatever, You're just working. And then, when you're at home, because you've got your work all squared away, you're just being a parent and hanging out with your husband or doing whatever it is you want to do. Well, you have been such a great client and I'm so glad that I got to know you over time. I hope you will come back to me when you're about to make a million dollars and when your boys are teenagers, and all the times that you might need me for a transition. I would love that. If people are interested in following you on Instagram or learning more about you or your business, where should they go?
Julia Pancoast: 35:52
I do have a public Instagram. That would just probably be easy to find. I will say I haven't spent too much time putting content on it because that's just haven't been a priority, but it could be a place you can, you know message. It's @Julia. Invests. STL and yeah, so it's just kind of there right now, but it doesn't have much on it.
Michelle Gauthier: 36:19
Yeah, but if they want to reach out to you, that'd be a good place.
Julia Pancoast: 36:23
Yeah, you can send me a message there. It's pretty easy to find my contact info if you just Google my name, because I'm in real estate and so we're pretty open with our information. So people can find us Just Google search or, if you want, to just send a DM on Instagram either one I'll see it. So yeah, and definitely reach back out to anyone who might have, you know, that my story might have resonated with them, whether it's real estate related or not.
Michelle Gauthier: 36:48
So yeah, so you don't mind if somebody reaches out to you and says your story really inspired me. What should I do next? Or something like that. Are you open to that?
Julia Pancoast: 36:57
Not at all, because I come across people often in like our women's investing group that have a really similar story and, whether they have kids or not, just that change of whatever their current job is and wanting to eventually do investing in some way, like real estate investing.
Julia Pancoast: 37:17
And just women can often doubt themselves more than men can often doubt themselves more than men, so the more we can all cheerlead for each other and make it seem less scary. I'm all about kind of giving back to people that are maybe a few steps behind me in the process to figure out like any kind of nugget of information I can provide to help get them on that like next tiny step in the right direction.
Michelle Gauthier: 37:42
Yes, that's such a good abundance mindset. You don't want to be the only one who has this great life that you created. We should all be able to have whatever kind of life that we want. That's great, okay, good. Well, thank you so much, Julia. Thanks for doing this interview and it's been so great working with you.
Julia Pancoast: 38:01
Thanks, Michelle, you too. Always good to chat and catch up.
Michelle Gauthier: 38:05
Thanks for listening today and thank you for your support of the podcast over the past year. We have so many listeners, we've been able to reach so many overwhelmed working women, and I am on a mission to not leave anybody behind, so don't forget to do your review. Click on the link for all the details about how to do the review, and then give me your information so that you, too, can sport an Overwhelmed Working Woman t-shirt. Okay, see you next week. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.com. See you next week.
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