Collecting Accomplishments
I wouldn’t consider myself a collector (I hate having too much stuff!) but I do collect plants, colorful taper candles, and abstract art.
I used to collect accomplishments. I didn’t do this consciously, but I understood that in order to be enough. When you believe your worth comes only from what you do, you always need to be doing, collecting accomplishments and a finished to-do list.
The problem is, it doesn’t work. No matter how many accomplishments you collect, it’s never enough. I’d get a promotion, expecting to feel amazing and “enough” but it never actually worked for more than a few minutes. The second I added an accomplishment to my collection, I had to be on the look out for the next one.
This cycle, sometimes called the “achievement trap” keeps us stuck and dissatisfied. We expect to feel a certain way (confident, satisfied, proud) but it just doesn’t deliver.
Imagine if I wanted to feel confident and proud of myself, I bought a plant to add my collection. That’s a lot of pressure on that poor plant. Me being enough and me owning a plant are two separate things. I collect the plants because I enjoy them — not because I expect them to prove anything about me.
You’re already enough — so let your accomplishments be like your plants: something you enjoy, not something you rely on to prove your worth.
HOT OFF THE PRESS
“People-pleasing thrives on urgency. Boundaries thrive on pause.”
The other day I was talking to a client who’s learning how to stop being a people pleaser. And funny enough, we weren’t talking about big confrontations or emotional conversations.
We were talking about text messages.
You hear the ding.
You glance at your phone.
And suddenly your body decides: We must reply immediately or everyone will be disappointed forever.
This episode can help you slow down, think it through, and respond in a way that’s kind, concise, and honest.
Check out episode 218 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod.
“I realized I didn’t want the next promotion - and then started worrying that something was wrong with me.”
You’re on track, checking boxes, moving up the ladder….and then you realize that you don’t actually want what’s next.
The mission doesn’t feel exciting anymore.
Your boss’s job doesn’t sound fun.
Being promoted feels like it will make your life worse, not better.
Now what?
My guest Cassie Leonard was in this position and has lots of wisdom to share - check out episode 219 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod!
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