Why Are You Saying Yes?

For most of my life, I thought saying yes made me a good person.

Good friend. Good mom. Good colleague. Good everything.

I thought “being nice” meant being available, helpful, and agreeable. I never thought about the cost to myself.

But one day, after yet another week of overcommitting and feeling exhausted, I started wondering WHY I was doing this over and over. I realized that every time I said “yes” to something I didn’t want to do, that it wasn’t coming from kindness. It was coming from fear.

Fear that someone would be disappointed in me or even worse, not like me.

Fear that I’d seem selfish.

Fear that saying “no” would make me less valuable.

Essentially I was, without knowing, just saying yes to try to control the way people saw me. I wasn’t being nice, I was being controlling.

When I started saying no with honesty and yes with intention, my relationships didn’t fall apart. They actually got a lot better.

Can you relate?

Do you ever catch yourself saying yes when you don’t really want to?

JUST FOR FUN

Is it just me, or is there something deeply satisfying about knowing multiple ways to get to the same place?

Every week, I drive my daughter to the horse barn. I probably know five routes to get there. I’ve tested them all, and I get weirdly excited when I discover a new one (secret side street, scenic long cut… I’m here for it). Sometimes I intentionally take the longer way just to drive down a pretty road with pretty houses, because why not make errands feel a little more joyful?

This week Handsome Man Friend showed me a short cut I hadn’t known, and I was delighted! 

It’s a tiny thing, but it reminded me: life needs more fun. The silly, spontaneous, slightly unnecessary stuff that makes you smile for no reason. If it’s not shortcuts for you, maybe it’s lip-syncing in the car, picking a pumpkin you don’t need, or buying cereal that reminds you of Saturday mornings as a kid.

Life is hard sometimes, do something fun! :) 

UPCOMING EVENTS

Something new is coming! 

If your calendar is packed with things you don’t even want to do, if you’re constantly saying yes out of guilt, and if you’re starting to feel a little resentful (or a lot) . . .  I’ve got something in the works that’s going to help.

It’s called the People Pleasing Purge, and it’s a live class designed to help you set boundaries, say no with ease, and reclaim your time — without the guilt or spiral.

It’s not live yet, but I’m sharing early details with a small group first.

If this sounds like something you need, send me a message here and I’ll send you a few details before it opens to the public.