How to Feel Your Feelings Instead of Pushing Through Overwhelm
My family recently had our annual lake vacation in Minnesota where we celebrate my dad's birthday, my son's birthday, and the 4th of July. It's truly one of my very favorite things, every year.
My son turned 19 (!!) and I was reflecting on how lucky we are to have celebrated his birthday together with our whole family in Minnesota every year.
But then I noticed a little sadness coming over me. The feeling seemed out of place on such a happy day. The old me would have thought, ok let's ignore that, shove that down.
But now I know better, so I spent a few minutes alone and worked through this feeling using a tool I teach my clients. I call it the NEAR Method: Name it, Explain it, Allow it, Review it.
Name It. What was the feeling?
Sadness.
Explain It. How does it feel in your body?
Heavy in my chest, my shoulders slump, pressure around my eyes.
Allow It. I let the feeling be there, remembering it's just energy moving through your body.
While allowing it, I realized what was making me sad. It was thinking of my son's birth parents, and how hard his actual day of birth was for them. The best day of my life may have been their hardest. Along with allowing the feeling, I sent them both so much love and gratitude, and felt connected to them.
Review It. How do I feel after?
Good. I gave the feeling the attention it deserved. I felt grateful, for the day, for my son, for his amazing birth parents.
I'm sharing this very personal story to remind you:
Feelings aren't good or bad, they just are.
Allowing your feelings is a huge contributor to feeling less stressed and overwhelmed.
Even if it feels scary, allowing your feelings usually only takes a few minutes, and you'll end up feeling so much better.
Give it a try.
HOT OFF THE PRESS
“Your body is reacting like this is an emergency and it's really just a text message.”
Sometimes saying yes isn't about being nice. It's your nervous system trying to protect you from the discomfort of disappointing someone. Once you understand that, it's much easier to change the pattern.
Most boundary advice focuses on what to say, but not why saying it feels so hard. Until you understand what's happening beneath the surface, you'll keep falling back into the same habit.
That's why this week's episode explains what's happening in those few seconds before you automatically say yes—and how to create enough space to make the choice you actually want.
Check out episode 268 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod.
“You can disappoint someone and still be a deeply kind person.”
One of the biggest lies many of us have been taught is that being a good person means making sure everyone else is comfortable—even if it comes at our expense.
But people-pleasing isn't the same as kindness.
Real kindness doesn't require abandoning yourself. It doesn't mean saying yes when your heart is screaming no. It means being honest, respectful, and trusting that other people are capable of handling their own emotions.
Most women were taught that boundaries are selfish and saying yes makes us "nice." No wonder so many of us feel overwhelmed.
That's why this episode explores the difference between people-pleasing and real kindness—so you can stop carrying everyone else's emotions without losing the caring person you are.
Listen to episode 269 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod!
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