Why People-Pleasers Are Hardest on Themselves
Remember that time when you turned to your friend and said, "You just can't keep up like other people can. Something is definitely wrong with you. Get your sh*t together."
No?
Actually, I bet you’d never say that to a friend. But have you said it to yourself?
Sometimes our negative self-talk can be pretty awful. Our brain offers thoughts, many of them negative, in order to "keep us safe" or "motivate us".
But when it's a negative self-talk thought like the one above, it's just NOT helpful.
Next time your brain offers a really crappy thought that makes you feel terrible, try this instead:
Brain offers a negative thought, such as, "You just can't keep up like other people can. Something is definitely wrong with you. Get it together."
Pause and notice the thought. Then narrate what’s going on. Wow that was a brutal thought my brain just offered. Even if that sometimes feels true, that's way too harsh.
Create a “best friend thought” - what would you say to your best friend if she was in your shoes?
I'd tell her: “Life is hard sometimes. You're a great person, doing your best.”
Say these words to yourself.
The cool thing is, if you practice this enough, you can re-wire your brain how to create best friend thoughts instead of negative self talk thoughts.
PS I think you're awesome, and doing a great job!
PPS Got 2 minutes? Take my free Overwhelm Quiz. Negative self talk might be the driver at the base of your overwhelm.
HOT OFF THE PRESS
“Every time you walk past a pile, your brain notices it.”
Clutter isn't heavy because of what it is. It's heavy because every pile represents a decision you've been postponing.
Whether it's unopened mail, an overflowing drawer, or boxes hidden in the basement, your brain quietly keeps those unfinished decisions running in the background. You may not consciously think about them, but they're still costing you energy.
Once you understand why clutter feels so emotionally exhausting, you'll stop chasing better systems and start removing the invisible weight that's been following you around for far too long.
It's a simple shift—but it changes the way you look at every pile, drawer, and forgotten corner of your home.
If you're feeling overwhelmed and can't quite figure out why, this episode is for you. Listen in and discover how clearing just one small space can create far more mental freedom than you expect.
Check out episode 270 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod.
“The body knows what to do. It knows how to calm down.”
Stress is unavoidable, but staying stuck in it isn't. The real skill is learning how to interrupt the spiral before it takes over your thoughts, your emotions, your relationships, and the rest of your day.
Most of us were never taught how to do that. We think feeling overwhelmed is just part of life, when often we're simply missing the right tools.
My guest, certified health and wellness coach Laura Ollinger, helps us explore practical ways to regulate stress, build resilience, and respond with more calm—whether you're a parent, a teen, or somewhere in between.
If you're tired of feeling overwhelmed every time life gets busy, this episode will help you respond differently.
Listen to episode 271 here: https://tinyurl.com/OWWPod!
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Set up a free discovery call with me here to talk about 1:1 coaching and how to set yourself free from negative self-talk. It’s amazing how much it impacts you!